A New Direction?

Okay, so how's this for something unexpected? Possibly teaching high school?

Okay, it's like way part time -- The technology coordinator at my daughter's school is taking a different job, and he taught a couple classes of web development, so they put out a thing that they are looking for someone to teach those classes.

So here I am, no teaching experience, no formal education at all in web development, no real professional experience other than i put together a few websites here and there, totally self taught... and here i am interviewing tomorrow for teaching the class.

What am I thinking????

Actually, I'd been thinking that a part time job would be a good idea for getting a pittance of steady income until work on my business becomes more steady. I was thinking something like delivering pizzas.

but teaching high school?

What am I thinking????

What's nice though is it's the very start of the day, i enjoy working with it all, and after talking with the tech guy it fits in with what I know... and hey, why not test the water and see what i think? yeah, i could be in totally over my head. or i might like it. If they're even considering me given my total lack of experience or education you'd think a person would need, they must need someone pretty desperately. I figure hey, i know a little, i have the flexibility, maybe i fit a need, why not eh?

What am I thinking???

Another month goes by

I keep commenting on the long time between posts. So what do I do about it? Create more blogs. (Somewhere the definition of insanity fits in here...)

I started out with the blog for my college football site, something that has been even more horribly neglected than this blog. I feel kind of guilty, that site was kind of the beginning of my whole web persona, and I'm still quite proud of the site even though I haven't had (or devoted) the time to keep it up like I used to. I won't try to describe it if you haven't seen it, it's www.heavyweightfootballchamps.com. But it's been fun coming up with the concept and still getting a reasonable amount of visitors, even as neglected as it is. But hey, football season's around the corner, maybe it's time to get cracking.

And so as I neglected that site, I created another blog (this one) to neglect. But at least it's not as neglected as that one, so it's all good eh? This one kind of comes and goes, depending on my motivation and keeping up with diet and exercise and all that. But then again, it's been over a month since my last post. Sorry?

And so instead of getting better about keeping up this blog or the other one, what do I do? Create two more. Sheesh, what's up with that?

These two are for my business. Of course I really should think seriously about the wisdom of that because yeah, you can neglect a hobby website, or neglect a personal blog, but in the end what's the worst that can happen? Lose the 2 or 3 readers that still come to either one? Which is not to suggest that losing the readership of anyone of you who may happen to browse upon this thing is anything I would want... (and I'll stop now before I dig myself into a big hole).

But when it comes to business, it is something that will require some dilligence. There are some good marketing reasons for blogging for your business, but neglect can be something rather (or nearly) fatal. And I know that full well. And yet, I don't learn.

One, Simply Communicating is related to my business website. So that's the one where I at least try to act like an expert on communications and throw out some tips, ideas, and give a little bit of information about what's up with Barnabas Communications.

The other is the end result of a marketing idea I had. When I started Barnabas Communications we were in the depths of this recession (still are, last I checked). But something I really liked that I heard someone say, and later heard from Dave Ramsey as well... way back when the whole economy was falling apart I remember a manufacturer rep saying we refuse to participate in this recession. That statement resonated with me like you wouldn't believe. For me it's so easy to get into the excuse game, and when things aren't going so well (especially if you're working in sales) it's so easy to blame it on the economy. Back in April when I stepped out over the edge (and I'm still not sure whether I'm floating or falling fast) and started the business, that was a key thing to me. It's a silly, maybe stupid time, to start a business, but.. here i am anyway.

So then I thought, this is a theme I want to really push forward. There is a certain point where recession is a state of mind. Yes, there are huge outside forces (and massive government stupidity to boot) but in the end it all comes down to the confidence of the consumer. And to me it just made sense to say, to heck with the doom and gloom, this is going to happen, and it's going to go well! So to a certain extent, I really mean it.

On top of that, I thought one of the best things I could do for businesses in a tight economy is to give away some advice. In the end I think it helps establish myself as someone they can depend on, so why not. And I thought at first calling it something along the lines of a recession buster, but that didn't really resonate well, so I scrapped that. But the whole thing about refusing to participate in the recession kept coming back to me, and in the end it became something along the lines of hey, we don't want to participate, and we have some ideas that can help you not participate... and thus Unparticipate was born. And now there's not just the business website, but the Unparticipate website. Now it's mostly about offering this guide we put together. But with it, I started thinking that what would be cool is to make it interactive, get ideas from other industries and such. So... the best way (I thought) is to put up a blog. Put out ideas here and there. Ask for ideas. Publish the best ideas I get. And so.... the Unparticipate Blog.

And oh, yeah. I became a twit. Or whatever the term is. You know, a tweeter that tweets. A twitterer. (Those who know me best say, stick to the original, it fits). I don't know if anyone is out there in twitter world that would ever really benefit from the ideas and tweets, but, it's one more way to get the word out there about Barnabas. So, hey, who knows eh?

So now with 4 blogs to my name, a twitter account, and of course the facebook (works great for keeping up with old friends, even if it does mean seeing old embarassing pictures from college days)... I gotta wonder when I ever get time to actually do any real work.

...and what a year

This weekend Janiece and I celebrate our first anniversary. It's hard to imagine it's been a year already, but... it's been a really, really good year.

Because of her, there's been this amazing difference in my outlook on life. Life just seems... good. That seems terribly understated. But it's just that when the world around us is in turmoil, it doesn't matter, life is good. She brings a calm and a joy to life. She has made this a really, really amazing year.

There was a point where I wasn't really sure what was ahead, and yet, it was like God was saying just you wait, I've got something really really good for you. And he came through in a big way.

Definitely cause for celebration.

19.49 miles

Wednesday nights is our 'Band of Brothers' mens group, and I've typically tried riding my bike out for those except on occaisions where the weather would get in the way. They moved it now to where it's meeting at a coffee shop, although that coffee shop is in the opposite direction from me. But that's okay. The nice thing is I can get there almost exclusively by trail, though that trail does end up going a couple miles longer. In the end, according to mapmyrun, it turned out to be a total ride there and back of 19.49 miles. It felt good being able to say I did it. It feels even better to be able to sit here this morning and not feel dead to the world for it all.

There are some guys from church going this weekend to hike up a 14er, and it looked pretty intriguing. It was stated as 'strenuous hiking' requiring proper hiking boots and hiking pole etc. (14er is the term they use around here for mountain peaks 14,000 feet or higher). 13.5 miles. It's the kind of thing where I find myself wondering if I'd be up to THAT kind of hike. Enough other things are going on that it's really not an option anyway, but... it does leave me wondering....

Celebration in the face of sad news

Two big stories in the news lately come to mind. Obviously, the death of Michael Jackson, and the other one that sticks out to me is the Governor of South Carolina and his recent affair.

I think the thing that stands out to me is the way the world points its finger in judgment. And I find myself doing the same thing, so I guess I'm no better than the rest of the world now, am I?

And that very fact makes me stop and realize... I'm no better than either of these two people either, you know?

The truth is, maybe they're not all that different than you or I, despite having high positions and fame. They're still people. They have things about them that are good, and... flaws. We just happen to notice them more when they're so much in the public eye. And really, we want to drag them 'down to our level' not that I really think there is any level to drag them down to (or up to for that matter).

But because they've been blessed with the talents, abilities, skills, and opportunities to be in the public eye, we also know all about their flaws. And we judge them viciously.

I don't know, really, about whether Michael Jackson ever did the things he's accused of. So I won't try to speculate whether he did. I can't help but think that when it's all said and done he didn't know how to cope with all the stuff that comes with the level of fame he achieved. Who knows what kind of affect it had to be a star at childhood to the point that, maybe he never really got to be a kid.

I guess it really doesn't matter right now. There's a circus going on right now but when it's all said and done, some kids lost their father. There are people who lost a family member, others who lost a good friend. The fact he was famous doesn't change anything, the pain of losing someone close is just as real for them as it is for us. It's incredibly sobering to see it all. So much of the commentary I hear lately is about how there was so much potential and ability and yet the tragedy of it all is how this is a man who in the end was mocked so much.

But that's not so different than real life for everyone else, is it? Loss like that is difficult because it's final. There's no chance now to change things. Michael was working on making a comeback, but it won't happen. That's how it always seems to happen for us because we think there can be that comeback, that those things that are flawed can be improved, but then something happens and it can't be.

And the other story is the whole deal with Governor Sanford taking off for awhile, where his affair with this other lady all comes to light. And again, we see the humanity, how the reality of life is pretty much the same whether you're famous, whether you've got power, or you're just an ordinary person.

I hear the venom from people on both sides of the aisle. I see the world shaking their heads at this guy. I hear people on the radio saying they can't imagine how someone could do such a thing. There's contempt because this was a guy who was all about family values and look what he did. And yet... if you get down and examine the lives of all the critics (including you and I), how many of these critics have their own secrets and sins that just haven't been brought to light? Who are any of us to compare and criticize?

None of us can really understand why he did what he did. I mean, how can a man with such power (some considered him a potential candidate for President) throw it all away by doing something so stupid? But have we ever considered that if a guy in his position does what he does despite all of the risk, there have to be some powerful emotions and factors at play that we cannot begin to imagine?

This is in no way trying to justify anything that either of these men may have done. I just know that... I know how it feels to have screwed up, I know how it is to feel the weight of peoples' judgment, much of it earned.

And I know what the grace of God means to me. Something that's taken a long time to really begin to appreciate.

Maybe that's what this is about in the end. The weight of the world's judgment comes down on these two figures, but to me it just shows that here are a couple of men who, despite their talents and fame and power, we see their flaws. We see men who know pain, whose failures are there for the world to see. We can go on and on about how they should have done things differently, that there's no real excuse for things that were done, and we'd probably be right.

And yet, the failures and the flaws are there. Just like they are there for you and I.

And maybe in the end, these stories are something to celebrate. Because they point out something about the reality of the human condition, and that is, that it is deeply flawed. Our sins and our weaknesses bring us all short, whether we are ordinary people living ordinary lives, or lives of power and prestige. And no, the fact that everyone fails and has flaws is not the part that is to be celebrated.

The celebration is that our fate, our end does not have to be determined by the mistakes we make, no matter how terrible. God saw those flaws, those weaknesses, those sins that are part of us. And instead of pointing the finger like we're so prone to doing, he did something about it. He sent his son.

What incredible hope! THAT is the celebration... because at least for me these things remind me of my own sin... and remind me of the incredible Grace God has given me. And all of a sudden... life is good.

Bike to Work Day

Wednesday is Bike to Work day in Denver. I'm kinda liking the idea, it's intriguing I must say.

When I got my bike, I had this image of commuting by now. Back then it was about 15 mile trip in to work, and there was one day I dropped my work truck off and had hauled my bike out and rode it back. But that was pretty much it for the bike to work thing. Okay, a lot of that has to do with when things changed with my job to where I was no longer on salary but straight commission, and pretty much prior to deciding to do the work from home thing.

You know... biking to work is pretty easily done when you work at home. "Yeah, I'm all Green, I bike to work." All I gotta do is go down the drive way and back up.

Pathetic huh?

That all kinda falls hand in hand with this whole plateau I'm on right now, come to think of it. I don't know if the changes at work and going self employed have a part in it all or what. It's an interesting thought if I wanted to dig a little deeper. But I don't.

Although.... all day Wednesday I'll be about 4 miles from here installing a new phone system. I could bike there. And let me tell you, it's an easy ride. ALLLLLL downhill. Coming back... different story. Yikes!!! Good thing buses in this town all have bike carriers on them eh?

A bike's not really a great service vehicle. But you know what I want to do for a service vehicle? I'm dead serious here: Smart Car! I have test driven the things and even at my size... they're awesome. But the biggest thing about them to me, and the total appeal is the billboard value of the things. Imagine having one of those things wrapped with a well designed logo and all that. Those puppies get attention. Okay, they're not great for carrying a ladder (though it could be kinda cool looking)... though I am taking a good look into those fold up ladders, because if they would work.... it might be a great way to go. Not as green as a bike, I know, but still not too bad. And definitely not as sweat-causing!

I am excited about doing this installation. This is the first big deal for Barnabas Communications. I've done a lot of little odd jobs here and there but not making great money... kinda the thing where I was about ready to fire the sales guy (a little scary to do when you're a one man operation). But then this was something that got referred to me, and it turned into something much bigger than I expected, and now I'm in the middle of the project and I'm pretty psyched about it. It's kind of fun, you know?

Actually, building this business is fun. Coming up with the plans and concepts and structure of it all... I've even got my logo! Right now I'm back and forth between running like a chicken with my head cut off at times trying to make sure I've got everything covered on the job I'm doing, and then stopping, stepping back, and saying okay, how does this need to happen and what do I need to do to make this go? And I think that I've had times I've been so terrified and really doubting if I could do it because after all, I wasn't exactly selling a ton of stuff where I was before now, was I? And yet, here I am now getting to do the kinds of things that I've always believed should be done, and putting it all into motion now, and it's exciting.

And the thing that amazes me is that as I talk to people about what the business is all about, I can tell they like it. They really seem to believe I've got something good. And I find myself asking, why couldn't I get people to agree with me when telling them about what I'm doing working for other places? And I think the reality of it has come home... people have always agreed with me, and I just didn't know it. That ultimately, in the end, I didn't totally buy into the company or the product or something like that. But now, I've been able to take some new ideas, and implement them. No longer is there the "we can't afford to do it that way" or "that will never work." I know it WILL work, and I'm finding myself amazingly passionate and even articulate about it when describing the concept to people... and they believe in it!

My wife has been amazing about it all. When I knew things were about to change at the other company and I'd no longer have a regular income, I started putting down my ideas on paper. When it happened, we sat down and talked it over. I knew relying on that position for a regular income wasn't going to work. I also knew that in this economy, doing a job search would take some time and income would dry up a little while. And I also knew that what I wanted to do wasn't being done by anyone else, and as we looked at the numbers we realized it was a very viable possibility. I'll admit that for a few weeks when the income was just a trickle, there are those times of thinking, is this really the way to go? It's a challenge when you're not producing the kind of income you were and everyone has to cut back to beans and rice for awhile to get by, and as a guy, that's the kind of thing that's real easy to get down on oneself about. But Janiece has been incredibly supportive, maybe even a bigger believer than even myself. And while I know this one job is not IT, it's the ice breaker I was looking for and I know it's the beginning of something very successful. And that's exciting.

The only thing I'm wondering though is... how professional would it look for a really big guy (see the last post to see what I think about how big) to show up to work on the phones wearing bike shorts.

Kinda makes you shudder huh?

Maybe the 'up and down the driveway' thing is enough to suffice for bike to work week.

Unexpected Motivation

I'd mentioned the stuff about sleep in the past. Lately the whole sleep thing seems to be okay but even after manipulating mattresses around, I find myself waking up with back soreness, it's as though the different slopes in the bed are enough to create some strain. So it leads to a conclusion, gotta get a new bed. Well, that's well and good except that budget can be pretty tight while you're trying to get a new business to take off. But sometimes when it bugs you enough you start thinking okay maybe it's time to break that resolve of not using credit.

I find myself wondering if the back thing is another of those chicken or the egg things. I tend to wear the outside of my heels down, and all of my shoes are in that condition right now, and when that happens I know my back starts getting sore. So... is it my bed creating the problem, or is it my shoes? One creating the problem and the other just making it worse... At least shoes don't cost as much as a bed, that's one good place to start.

Of course, it's silly to even ask either of those questions. The real thing is....

I'M TOO STINKING FAT!!!

Okay, so anyway, the other morning I woke up about 5 and after a little tossing and turning it became clear... I'm not going to fall back asleep. Okay, good time to get out and ride my bike or something. So I set out, and after a mile and a half or so it's like ow, my back's fussing too much, time to turn it around and head home. But then, part way through the day, I'm realizing hey... my back isn't hurting. What's up with that? The only thing I can think of is, bike ride. I realized that by the time I got home it wasn't hurting. Hmmmmmm..... So, next morning, I went out and did the same thing, and my back's feeling fine then. I don't know if maybe the bike riding is stretching it all out some? So now I'm getting out each morning for a short bike ride. So in some ways the back thing is good for me cuz it's getting me back to being out more regularly.

I know I find myself getting caught up in all the stuff of life and it makes an easy excuse to not get so involved in exercise. Too little time, you know? So this whole thing is a good wake up call.

That and, did I mention, I'M TOO STINKING FAT!!!

I'm a real fan of Dave Ramsey and his approach on finances. The one thing though that he says about getting yourself out of all the financial ick you create in your life is a lot like what they say about addictions and such, that you never really do anything about stuff until you get just too sick and tired of the circumstances. Then you develop what Dave calls "Gazelle Intensity."

So maybe I'm getting too sick and tired of the fact that I'M TOO STINKING FAT!!! and maybe that's the beginning of my Gazelle Intensity.

Although......... What doesn't help is something like Friday night. My wife and I decided we needed a date night. Some time back we had bid at a silent auction on gift certificates to this place that's not as well known yet, and won the bid. This was a good time to use that. It's this little place called Bistro One. It's one of those places that, as I looked it up to see what their menu was and all it just seemed... too trendy? One of those places that really focuses on having a modern and fancy decor, but I wasn't sure how I'd like it.

We walk in, and it's sort of an Art Deco, black and white decor but it just seems noisy or something. And I wasn't sure how I was going to like it all to be honest.

But then the food arrives. And Oh. My. Gosh. Very, very few times in my life have I ever found myself so surprised and amazed at just how good the food is. For an appetizer we got a cheese plate. They had 5 different cheeses with sauces and such. Like Gouda cheese with tiny chopped up strawberries. I never would have thought the taste combinations would be so good but it was all amazing. Then we got Ribeye steaks and they were simply amazing. They just melted in your mouth and the taste was astonishing. And I think I've had some pretty great steaks in my life, but this was incredible. The steaks alone were enough to satisfy your hunger, and my wife is not a big eater at all, but there was just something about the experience that we had to get desert, and even the desert was incredible. Service was top notch, food was incredible... this is a place that's still just getting started out, it's not even 2 years, and I know restaraunts like that are struggling a bit more in this economy, but I sure hope this one can continue to make it because it's just... too good to fail.

Probably not the kind of thing that helps a diet be successful, though truth be told lately it's been more like, "what diet?"

So I suppose it's good to wake up this morning and be sore and so aware of the fact that I'M TOO STINKING FAT!!! because it helps offset the feeling you get when eating such an amazing meal Friday that leaves you thinking, do I really need to be on a diet?

Weddings and diets

Quick trips to weddings don't always make a good mix for diets. Everything is sandwiches, sandwiches, cake, more sandwiches and chips. And more sandwiches. It's not just the stuff at the wedding but on the trip as well.

That said, it doesn't have to be a disaster. I'm hoping I ate in moderation enough to not have it be said disaster. There was some GREAT barbeque at the rehearsal dinner. And enough things that you can pick things out that are not as bad for you.

It was good getting back home though. For just long enough. We took off Monday morning for the 7 hour drive and left sunday noon to come back. It was enough to touch base with folks and see the home town, see how much things have changed (and how little overall they've changed) and it made for a nice trip.

The wedding was nice as well. I think it was kinda a big deal in the family, as I grew up with 3 brothers, so we didn't have any of the girl's side of the wedding to be part of. Ame (was supposed to be Amie but my brother was a basketcase when they asked what her name was to be and he misspelled it) is the oldest of all the kids between us (if you don't count my stepkids anyway) so it's the first wedding for any of us.

And having watched this, I'm realizing that with 3 daughters and 2 stepdaughters... the future costs ahead of us are terrifying. So I think we're creating a policy -- we pay for the justice of the peace and we'll buy airfare to anywhere they want to elope. Nice and easy. I like it that way.

Wonder what a difference a year makes....

We leave this morning to go to my niece's wedding back in Nebraska. Last time I was in Nebraska I was about 40 pounds heavier. So I'm wondering how noticable it will be, mainly because I've been at this level for so long now that that's what I see.

I'm not expecting much notice though. Mainly because it's been a year since everyone's seen the kids, and they've all grown so much that that's sure to be what gets their notice.

It will be good to go back for a little while. And it will be good to come home again.

The value of sleep

Sleep seems to be one of those chicken or the egg kinda things when it comes to weight loss. As I get it, weight loss comes more easily when you sleep well, but.. I think too it's like sleep comes more easily when it comes to weight loss.

My wife has noticed that I'm having a harder time getting up in the mornings lately. I always wondered about how much the whole motivation thing played in this all, where i'm still on this plateau, so it's like it doesn't come quite as natural to jump out of bed to go on these killer walks (even though the weather's SOOOO much better for it now). But I'm thinking there's more to it lately because I find myself waking up tired more often than I have for a bit.

That has had me a bit concerned, because one thing I've fought through much of my life has been sleep apnea. Essentially that's where you quit breathing while sleeping. There's a longer explanation of it, but anyway I finally went in a few years back and had a sleep study done (which i foolishly avoided for too many years because of the cost) and I can't tell you how tremendous the difference is now since I've done something about it, but lately I know i started to wonder if that was flaring up again or something.

But... I think i figured it out. Thanks to some back pain... lately when I'm laying down i've found that when I turn just so there's a real twinge in my back. And when it's like that, you start noticing things like how uneven the bed is. Or I'll put it this way, I think i've created a divot in the bed. Put it another way... i'm too darn big for it. So when you're laying uneven like that, it has it's effects. And I think that what's happening is while I'm sleeping my body's trying to balance itself against this chasm and so i'm not really resting.

Another point of motivation?

A New Sure Fire Diet Aid!

I think I figured out a great way to deal with the temptation to eat.

Our house is about 50 years old, and along the basement ceiling is about a 20 foot section of drainpipe from the kitchen sink that goes towards the sewer stack. That's where the 50 year old part comes in because over time, that drainpipe has had all sorts of opportunity to corrode, to the point that it was leaking pretty good. This weekend was finally time to change it.

Now... I'm not especially adept at plumbing. There's a reason I'm not in that business! But somehow we managed to cut out the old pipe and get it replaced, and so far (knock on wood) no leaks in the new piping (the much lighter, much easier, black plastic pipe they use now).

As to the diet aid: I may have to keep around a small piece of that old pipe. 50 years of gunk and ick and... well, we could use more explicit language here... is built up in these pipes to the point there was just a very small hole through them. Gross is a word that does not come even close to doing it justice. Between the smell and the look and all of that... just the general ook of it all (if that's a word)... we'll just say my appetite was not very powerful. That's why I need to keep a piece of it, because if temptation strikes all I have to do is look at it and I'm quite un-hungry.

If anyone else needs help fighting temptation, I may put pieces up for sale. Let me know...-

Good weekend

Okay, so I finally decided to step on the scale for the first time in a few weeks. It's been that kind of time where, I've not done great the past few weeks, though not awfully either. I've kept up the exercise for the most part, in fact I think that's improving. But I know i've not been super faithful diet wise.

Soooo.... 356. 3 pounds up, but honestly I wasn't sure if i was 5 or 15, so 3's not bad, hey?

Yesterday I wondered if I overdid it. Well, not on the exercise bit itself, I went out on a 3 mile walk around noon. I did decide to mix in some jogs, basically 30 seconds of jogging, 2:30 walking for about 2 and a half of those 3. It felt pretty good, didn't feel like i overdid it at all, and felt pretty good later in the day.

It was the later part, and not really overdoing it. My daughter's high school choir is fundraising for next year's choir trip and the school's traditionally raised funds by working concessions at Invesco field. Now that will mean REALLY working come Bronco's games, but last night was just a Lacrosse game. Very small crowd really, and the work wasn't too hard. But it was the getting there at 3 and leaving at 11 and being on my feet the entire time, that as i'm shuffling slowly to the car i'm thinking to myself... maybe that run earlier wasn't such a good idea.

This morning I woke up with a sore ankle, though through the day it was getting better. We went out tonight to Bear Creek Lake which is a pretty neat park, and walked around. It was about 2 miles total but very leisurely. It all went well except for Kaylee (daughter #2) who took her bike along and went riding. As we get back, no one has seen Kaylee.... so as we start looking around the lady at the park entry station waves me down and asks if I've got a daughter named Kaylee... turns out she ended up at the golf course several miles away and someone there thoguht of having her call the entry station to see if anyone was looking for her. (along the same trail that went through the park). So there's the one side that is, good for her for getting a good ride in... but, that part about turning around after a couple of miles and going back musta slipped out the other ear.

All that said, I feel good. And am a little encouraged about the scale thing, though I'd much rather be under 350. (Granted, I'd much rather be under 250).

Time to dig through the plateau though....

If I can't keep up with this blog....

How do I expect to stay current with another?

My track record on blogs isn't so great. I've got primarily this one, another one that hasn't been posted in since January (I do a website called Heavyweight Football Champs and I blog about my opinions about the whole college football national championship thing, something i've not really blogged about much lately as it's not been on the top of my mind with all other things of life going on...) So now, I'm starting a new blog. What am I thinking??? This one's for my new business, so it will be more about business communications and phone systems and all that fun stuff.

It's fun, and slightly terrifying, getting this whole thing started. The fun thing is that I'm seeing some passions come out, I'm seeing these visions of what I want to see in the business and how it is so very different than similar types of businesses (aka the competition). But the terrifying part... well, one of course is the whole thing about whether it will actually make any money, the other is always wondering if i'm up to the challenge.

And yet... somehow I just know i am.

Went out last night bike riding... about 14 miles total, which was really good. My cellphone GPS program has a little elevation screen that shows the elevation along the way. There is one spot where there is a line almost straight up... if you compare that to the speed graph (showing how fast you were going at different parts)... that line straight up would coincide to the line straight down where i walked this.... really nasty hill. Someday.... I'll be making that hill just fine!

Kittens, scraps, plateaus and new beginnings.

Not sure what all those have to do with... well, with anything? Not to mention this blog, although, this blog is just about life, and... okay, let's be really really honest here. It has been a long long time since I posted anything at all and I'm totally clueless what to post even now but I'm trying to get back into the discipline, so... I'm just going with what's going on with life lately.

so, kittens and scraps... life around here lately has been consumed with 5 little furballs all with extreme cases of A.D.D. They're fun, they're maddening but too cute to get too ticked off at. I'm thinking life will seem very different soon though as they're almost old enough to find new homes. 3 of the 5 already have homes waiting for them, and while i know the kids are really hoping to keep one if not both of the remaining, we're defnitely going to be more than willing to let the others find homes as well. That becomes more true as they tear into my wife's fabric stash and leave scraps all over, or as they leave little gifts everywhere except the litter box. all that said... they're definitely fun to watch.

Plateaus... Was chatting with my daughter's doctor during a visit a couple weeks ago and she'd known I'd been doing this whole dieting thing, so she asked about how I'd done so far and all that, so she asked if I was at a plateau right now. i thought that was an odd question, but the truth is i've been fluctuating up and down about 5 pounds or so for awhile now. so, how'd she know? did i look like it? did someone tell her? I think she could tell I was wondering that by the look on my face and she said that just the point i'm at, the amount i've lost, the amount of time i've been at it, that it seems a pretty typical place for a plateau.

great. i don't want to be typical right now!!!!

i'm wondering in some ways if the blog and the plateau are a bit related? actually that is a thought that came up as i started this post because i used the word discipline. So I've fallen out of the discipline of writing in this, at the same time i've fallen off some of the disciplines otherwise... things that make you go hmmmm, huh?

I make a lot of excuses right now, for both. Most of the excuses center around life being rather busy lately, and around that new beginnings part. Which I'll get into here in a moment. But here it is May, and when there's a total of 10 kids between us things can get crazy. I'm sad right now for having missed my stepdaughter's college graduation just because it coincided with other school activities that required my attendance. But this is one of those times when life gets crazy. But you know the amazing thing? It's great! It's hard to explain, cuz it's mind boggling at times to the point where people wonder how we do it... but... it's life, and life is something that is very, very good. I'm relishing in having all of this going on. Even if it is sometimes exhausting, there's something at the end of the day where i'm left thinking... this is what it's all about.

ahhh, so... new beginnings. Part of the reason for being so busy also has to do with launching out now with my own business. Barnabas Communications! For me it's not a new name, I've somewhat launched it before doing some different things over the past few years. All of that has always been testing the water with one foot while keeping the other foot in other pools or seeking out other pools. But now, I'm diving in. It's scary and exciting all at the same time.

Put simply, i've spent too long being part of an industry where you have to really hype up the high tech aspects of what you do when in the end it still just ends up for the vast majority of customers pretty ordinary. And yet, having been involved enough in both the marketing AND the technology/service side of things, I know all the stuff we promise is there and can be pretty extraoridary. The problem is that we don't put the emphasis into making it extraordinary, we just put the emphasis into selling it.

So I've spent a lot of time on... how do you make it extraordinary? Over the past few months as the economy has tightened, the company I worked for had to do some cutting back in December, and I survived the cut. As things slowed down more, I ended up thinking, what if there's another cut? NO ONE in this industry is hiring right now, in fact... not many people at all are hiring. But the amazing thing in those thoughts became... that it didn't turn into fear or panic, and there was this understanding that it was in fact maybe an opportunity waiting to happen. And recently the time came when we talked at work about changing to more of an independent contractor at work. And in the end, that opened the door to the opportunity. And thus, Barnabas Communications LLC is a reality. I still do a lot of work for my former company which gives me a chance to develop the business.

Right now I've got the framework put together and the basic concepts. I have the website, www.DenverPhoneSystems.com. It's what I figure to be a temporary one, because there's a constant evolution in how I think it should be put together, but this is a good start. I think anyway....

So yeah, life has gotten busy. And yet... exciting.

Maybe the dog likes me?

So tonight my daughter and I took the dog out for a walk. Now I've always figured the dog just tolerates me, being one of many who have invaded his home lately. I mean, there's me, my 5 kids... not to mention the rabbit and the kitten who now has 5 of her own kittens.... and I suppose it's something about greyhounds because they're not like labs or retrievers that jump all over you and such. Greyhounds are definitely more stoic. Or maybe melancholy. They whimper a lot when they want something. So I think it's been that my idea of a dog has always been the kind that is super affectionate and all that, and here's this bony skinny musclebound thing that seems rather aloof a lot, so yeah, a guy wonders. Okay, he does wag his tail a lot when I come in the door, although I'd swear half the time he's looking at me like, okay, you're here, so... where's Janiece???

Now when it's walk time that's a different story. He's all up and down and excited then. It used to be that all I had to do was just reach for the leash and he's hopping up and down ready to go. Now it's even to the point where I just need to grab a little plastic bag (for carrying his poop of course) and he hears that plastic rattle and he's barrelling through the house.

So what I find interesting though is tonight my daughter walks with us, and she takes the dog and runs up ahead a bit... but he'll only go so far. Once she's ahead by 50 feet or so suddenly he's running sideways looking back at me. At 75 feet he's dragging her back towards me. At his size, he can do that you know. And I'm like... heyyyyyy, he wants to be with me.

Okay, my wife would explain that greyhounds are pack animals and so he understands the order of things, so he prefers to stay closer to the leader of the pack. And since she's not with us, that would be me. Of course, one has to wonder, am I really the leader? All the times they're all asking for money from me and getting it (if i happen to have it)... who's the real leader? And of course we just have to go back to the poop carrying thing... if someone's bagging up and carrying someone else's poop, WHO is the real leader here anyway?

It seems I've had this discussion of sorts already. Of course that's been awhile. Of course (with added over the previous of course, of course)... I could have written about all this in my last post and it STILL would have been a long time ago... oops?

So I can blame it on being busy. Or blame it on a period where my ankle was acting like it were sprained for no understandable reason... Or blame it on being sheepish because I just haven't been exercising and have still been wishy washy about the diet.... all of these things probably add up together to not writing. So I've likely lost my two readers now in this long period of silence... okay, so I'll just have to be good at writing and somewhere along the line over the next 6 months or so maybe I can pick up another reader?

By the way, the Biggest Loser group started up again last night. I impressed everyone by riding my bike there. It was a pretty short ride so it's not that impressive, but... i'll take the pats on the back all the same. Much smaller group this time around, only 6 people last night. But I think it's going to be better because it will be more of an accountability group than anything, not so much about having speakers and such. So I think that will be maybe better for everyone. We'll get into more discussion, about things like what's working, what's not, etc.

So my weigh in was 363.3. Which is a few higher than my last weigh in, but not a lot. Morning weigh ins have been about the same, still hovering around the 353 mark. The past week or so I've been more dilligent about the diet. Part of that is because I'm finally getting a physical set up and monday morning i went in to get my blood drawn for labs and all, so I wanted to do my best about the blood sugar levels.

Anyway, that's my update for now... if i say something like i won't take 3 weeks to write again that's usually a sign it'll be 3 weeks, so... i'll just leave it where it is for now. Wherever that is.